i wanna go home...

tis year...out of 365 days...im home for not even month i think...ive been busy..busy..n busy..especially this semester to even slow down...there is forever so much to do even now..semester break...but im missing pg...home...family...frens...more n more...im trying to be strong...trying to be independant....sometimes after a long tiring journey...its good to go home...am looking forward to the day ...afterall...im always my dad's n mum's gal of person...lol...forever...

haha

haha...today was a good day...i can feel the usual motivation coming in...mint is back little by little...haha..hihi...gleeee....^^

aih...

aih... sedihnya saya...sedih sedih...

today...tonite

Nowadays..life in uni seems...rough??? n as usual busy...hectic...stress...but as d routine goes on n on..i feel some sort of emptiness...n losing of enthusiasm in me..lack of inspiration n motivation to go on somehow...to work..to perform better...i wonder where is my usual passion n optimism...??? o.O

In previous sem... no matter how hard..i will do my best to perform...d enthusiasm is always there...but recently is really fading...im not sure why n how myself...maybe i felt bored...lack of interest..or maybe simply there is juz so much to do...i cant focus in doing my work...n cant get anything done...frustrating!


Two weeks rest really helps alot alot..as i felt more refresh and motivated by the fact that i found who i used to be..what i used to do..all those familiarity..places n friends is really uplifting...

Now back from d great 2 weeks off from everything..its time to face d reality...i am trying to motivate myself now...i guess sometimes, certain things..nobody can help u except urself..what a lonely journey n lonely thought...but this i muz do...right now..

Working and working non stop this year had me really tired n lost..what i wanna do most now is to live a life more meaningful...to go where my passion lies...to seek d enthusiasm i used to have....

I guess is time to slow down a bit n laid back a while...not thinking too much...not thinking too hard..enjoy wat i do..n juz being..Mint.....

i wonder

i wonder how am i going to finish tomoro's presentation by tonite
i wonder how am i going to finish lab 4 by tonite
i wonder how am i going to finish up d never ending workload this sem
i wonder how am i going to finish up my procrastinated assignments by this week
i wonder how am i going to finish revising 4 subject for exam next week
i wonder how am i going to plan my final project with excellence
i wonder how am i going to start my first 3 chapther of thesis
i wonder when will i get enough sleep
i wonder when will i say 'im bored nothing to do'
i wonder when will i finish tidy my room
i wonder when my laziness will go away
i wonder Y am i still FB-ING and BLOGing
i wonder n i wonder n i wonder how am i going to survive this crazy semester
n i wonder y am i enjoying all this...i muz be crazy too....hahhahhahhah!!!!
arg...tonite...i wonder how to finish all that.....hahahahahahahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

yesterday

hate this feeling so much...it appears again...y isit always like that...feels so horrible...feels so miserable....what shud i do...how shud i do...maybe i shud take some time to reflect....something is so wrong wit me....hope will feel better after a good nite sleep...it been a miserable day...been tirin days n is juz d beginning...i shud calm down...n learn let go sometimes...being too hard on myself might juz hurts more...deep breath...deep breath...go to sleep.........

Kancil in KL

I wonder if i will ever figure out all those confusing...winding...crazy KL roads n highways...zzzz...i dun even wanna think bout all those money wasted on tolls ...when i took the wrong way n hav to take U turn which is like super far away...so..have to pay the same toll twice...>< Besides..Those roads here are like all d same...zzzzz...n there are so many bridges n exit..zzzzz....i feel like whacking sum1 when i missed my exit...which happens quite often....><><
One of the worse case was today...when im trying to get home in serdang from my aunt house in damansara...first i dunno how on earth could i missed the LDP...totally no idea how i get to kenchana after a horrible jam...luckily i realised i took the worng way before i go any furthur..maybe to ipoh...lol...pay double toll again zzz...U turn back to 1 Utama...took my fav LDP ...yea..evrything was juz nice n fine all d way till i turn in my usual exit ...the sg besi 1...but..i 'clever clever' took d bridge thing n fly to kinrara...swt...im totally lost in the kinrara jungle for like an hour...even my fuel was finishing...after some trial n error..i found my position n manage to reach I0I mall...then me n my blurness took that annoying U turn n yea!! i have to pay double toll again...U turn back n..finally i saw my dear serdang on the signboard...n soooo...i manage to get home in 2++ hour instead of 45 mins.... few more mins i can reach sekinchan d!!! urggg...im really amazed by myself...n my kancil..
of coz there are more stories bout how a kancil lose itself in the concrete jungle...stuck in KL n cant n way out...so long that i have no energy to tell...thus as conclusion my poor poor little kancil survived being bullied my big cars n lorries n its owner that travel everywhere without even knowing the way..( thats y they build signboards laaa)
one thing for sure...i will never forget the experiences i had with my kancil that had become my bestfren on roads...what we went through together had been one of the most significant part of my life...think she deserve a nice good bath n polish...after mt intern of cozzz...^^

wat is it..

been feeling so weird n complicated these days...wanna cry cant cry...wanna laugh oso difficult...wanna think..headache..so much to think...wanna sleep oso brain can stop working...i think is stressness...muy muy stressness...zzzzz...think bout anything oso stress...altho im back home..things juz cant stop bothering me..i got so much to do laaaa...maybe i juz need a day juz sit there n think nth...yea...i shud do tat...think of d bright side...u can do it mint...!!

i realise that nowadays i no longer can decribe or put things that happen in my life in words...LOL...well maybe im not good in language to start with or i dun have great vocab..maybe what we are feeling at d present is more important...i dunno but im sure that life will turn out ok...things will take care of itself..what i muz do is do what im suppose to do..in the right way...n take care of myself n responsibilities...life...there is so much to learn each day...^^

what am i...

sometimes i felt that things changed so much that i cant really catch up with them...im like living in a rush on changes...so rush that i dont really have time to think or digest what im doing...its extremely scary when i dun feel like me anymore ...thats when i start feeling unsure and frightened...time...i need time...can you slow down a bit pls.............

frens 2

missing the happy times at school....

frens...

These days..i have been thinking n missing all my frens...Even during CNY hols there is not much time for us to update ourself..worse the ones oversea..
Nowadays...we are all over d globe..all over the place...living different life..walking different path...i always has this weird feeling whenever i browse through facebook..looking at unfamiliar faces in each pictures...looking at other ppl's comments n notification...different friends..different stories..it seems like we are now havin a little separate world other than the ones we once shared for so many years...busy with our work..studies..etc..sometimes it seems tat we missed out lots of happenings in each other lives..yes! is weird but totally normal..norm of life...
we cant be togather forever...we cant see each other all d time...we dun talk to each other as often as we do..but the thoughts that is most important...we know tat the good times...the bad moments..memories of us is always kept deep down in our hearts...
I always think tat i dun have a huge large group of friends..but i have friends tat i had lots of memories with..some i had know them most of my life...tat stay by me when i need them...tat endure and tolerate me (at times)..tat touched my life in all sorts of different way...without them...i will not become who i am today...
I realise how valuable and rare true frens are...I always wanted to apologise for every bad things..wrong words..n action that i done in d past...
I am such a lucky person to be able to meet and have all of u in my life...THANK YOU for making my life a more colourful and meaningful one...

the evil mint

i think one of the main use of this blog is for me to release my depress-ness...i realise i onli have mood to log in whenever im either down or depress...lol..well at least most of the time...
today- i bad start to begin with...well..actually is so so till i make a bad n unkind decision...well i cant help it though...im not in a great mood...juz let my feeling took over...
i dunno wat is so wrong with me today as im totally in stress...short tempered..n depressed...nothing went right today...is a bad mint day!!!! i always had this habit of releasing temper to ppl whenever im in this situation..which is a horrible thing to do...which i really really need to change..really need to control my emotions properly...
then i got this depress feeling that how come i cant giv my 100% in everything i do..n is totally frustrated whenever things r not up to my expectation..which is often perfection...i cant tolerate myself whenever i cant complete my things perfectly..i cant understand y am i like tat...yaaaa...frusted frusted!!!!! so frusted with myself....whether is my limited ability or am i not hardworking or
focus enough....wats d prob actually??? why why why....why my life is always similar to 'a miss is equal to a mile'...why isit always lack of sumthing...why isit always a miss????? im so so tired laaaaa...yaaaaaaa......

note to myself-letting it out on a bad mood day
- mint gone crazy
- on a pessimistic mode >

today's journey

this morning i wake up...i know i have to embark on a (not so) long but consider long journey...travelling alone gives me time to observe things happening around me...finally back here..feeling great to be home..i reflect on today's journey...
while waiting for rapid 416 at d bustop..which takes like ages..i thought...growing up in a protected enviroment...everything prepared for me..travelling to a place unknown...well not been to before...dunno hows d place looks like alone is totally out of d question...somehow things started to change this few years where i do things tat i never ever thought i will... first on the list-living in d forest! i realise i had become more n more independant...is time to see things not onli through myself but oso others view...
well..at ktm u see so many different types of ppl...their action indirectly shows their personality...some is kind to be considerate...of coz im one of those..hahaha...some using the whole body blocking d entrace...ppl cant move in or out -selfish... pushing ppl in front which is me into d whole thing-scary...ppl moving to give space n helping others to get in-kind..etc..etc...
next i reach kl central...dunno where to get tickets..walk here n there..looking n looking..finally give up ask a guard who look at me ridiculously as the ticket booth is right in front of me..seeing so many ppl there..unfamiliar place..i suddenly had this 'i dun belong here' kind of feel...
then got on putra lrt which is so diff from ktm...u can see different class of ppl there...class of higher life quality..the stations are all at expensive area in the city..ppl on d train is nicely dress..n better courtesy..well this is life i think...money world...
then reach petaling jaya..got lost...another strange feeling..found d place..work done..went home..KTM again..urg horrible..when i reach serdang..wow sense of happiness...yes..i belong here...2 years here is enogh to make me feel like home..of coz pg is still d best...
in conclusion i wanna say i learn alot today... a crazy day with exam on mon...not yet study yet...better go work hard now... == so tired

time...

people say time will wash everything away...i doubt that some time ago...
i began to feel that recent years where things began to fade away...i really get it today as i realise i cant recall how he looks like at all...time once move forward... will never stop...time never look back....is time i move on too...goodbye...my dear fren...thank you for everything....be well be happy be healthy....

crazy me...write so many post in a day...wat to do..depress with myself...
im thinking...is my expectation towards myself too high or wat...how come im always not good enough in something...always know a bit of everything nia...aihz...feel kind of useless today...dissapointed with my ability...or isit im lack of confidence in myself...cant even handle such a minor thing...maybe im juz lazy, scared or even juz finding excuses...argg..is driving me nuts...is mint an extreme average person afterall??? aihz...goodnite...

the colour blue...

Having a blue day today..==
first i woke up late...somehow i forgot to set my alarm last night...so i quickly rush to class...then traffic jam pulak!!! gosh..hate it especially when cars lining up in front of the UPM gate...i mean like cant d car move faster..n stop cutting the queue!!!ok fine..next thinking bout what should i do bout my timetable...over credit onot..mgm or report or spanish...so basically i dun really listen to wat d lec mumbling..hate the arranging thing at d beginning of d same...><

which class which class...decision is so hard to make..in the end..i dun wanna think so much nmore..juz take..d future will fall into d place..lol..then late again to spanish class...dunno wat the lec cakap again...tokin in spanish like a train..in d end dunno wat i tok oso in d presentation...==!


then went to have lunch..so many ppl..no place to sit...went another place..change place for like 4 5 times...>< then hang out in d com lab..thinking bout my timetable AGAIN...>< then after doing some silly things went to photostat notes...zzz..waited long...d person kind of mess up a bit..then i realise my tyre is flat...zzz...wat kind of day isit...!!!!

now...writing blog instead of doing assignmentn washing my big pile of clothes...zzzz..dunno wat im doing today...dun care..i wan sleep d..cure my depression-ness... i'll think tomoro...n seriously..my english is getting bad these days...zzzz...

wat to do..tomoro gonna be a extreme busy day!!! got to go fix this n fix tat...TT
Buddha pls help me...amitaba...

cont

5) to be more hardworking....
6) use more brain when doing things
7) less silly
hopefully tis year is going to be a good year with a better me...

2010

it's a new year...new things in life..new aim..new aspiration...n most importantly...new life...
to achieve list 2010...
1) to burn excess fats...(hopefully)
2) less meat more veggies more water...more exercise- healthier lifestyle
3) a more organized time management
4) sleep earlier...get more sleep...less panda

to be updated...kind of sleepy now...lol