-first day of school
-after raya hols
-rainy day
-grey sky
-resembling my mood
-craving for ice cream
-sleepy mint
-goodnite
11 years ago
Monday, September 28, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
lost and alone
This sem had been extremely tough for me ...i noe this is not an easy sem but i did not expect this to be so tough...has been a battle for me every single day..
In academic..seems that i cant hit the right key from the start..nor can i find the fighting spirit i had last time..i wonder what happened...juz had my worse test 1 ever..hopefully i can save things with test 2..tho so busy doing things..spend my previous time for some unappreciative ppl...or maybe i become more lazy to do revision..i really dunno the reasons..but for sure I am the biggest problem myself...most subject involve calculation this sem...n calculation is my weakness..i noe like it or not..i MUST overcome it..i have no choice....i must find my true self..my motivation..my mission ..vision..n dream back...the mint that is always positive..n hopeful...
There are all sorts of people in this world....i should not bother with some of them dun care about others feeling..only think bout themselves..thinking they are the best doing things that really hurts a lot a lot..sometimes...
I wonder why someone that shud guide u ..help u...can become so mean ...is okay if u dun like a person..i understand v cant make every1 like us but dun influence others as well...never hurt others feeling if they did not do anything to u....is so tiring to cope with this useless things when you got so much to do already..so tired lookin at them everyday..so tirin trying to satisfy them ...those that dun noe how to respect ppl deserve no others respect...those that listen blindly what others sed rather than see things themselves is no better...sad to see such ppl...
Hopefully everything goin to be okay soon..good things come to those that are true to themselves and others...
Life been through tremendous change also...had to make many decisions...face many things that i never been through before..getting harder n harder..but i glad as i learn to be more and more independent everyday...at the same time i hope i can keep d cheerful side of me when facing all this...altho many unhappy things do happen...sometimes is my fault..irresponsibility...but at least i learn something ..not to avoid and run away anymore...but look at it ..face it...'kau tim' it...
No matter what comes tomorrow...in the future...i believe i can make it...there must be a way out...n i now must find it after a good night sleep....
In academic..seems that i cant hit the right key from the start..nor can i find the fighting spirit i had last time..i wonder what happened...juz had my worse test 1 ever..hopefully i can save things with test 2..tho so busy doing things..spend my previous time for some unappreciative ppl...or maybe i become more lazy to do revision..i really dunno the reasons..but for sure I am the biggest problem myself...most subject involve calculation this sem...n calculation is my weakness..i noe like it or not..i MUST overcome it..i have no choice....i must find my true self..my motivation..my mission ..vision..n dream back...the mint that is always positive..n hopeful...
There are all sorts of people in this world....i should not bother with some of them dun care about others feeling..only think bout themselves..thinking they are the best doing things that really hurts a lot a lot..sometimes...
I wonder why someone that shud guide u ..help u...can become so mean ...is okay if u dun like a person..i understand v cant make every1 like us but dun influence others as well...never hurt others feeling if they did not do anything to u....is so tiring to cope with this useless things when you got so much to do already..so tired lookin at them everyday..so tirin trying to satisfy them ...those that dun noe how to respect ppl deserve no others respect...those that listen blindly what others sed rather than see things themselves is no better...sad to see such ppl...
Hopefully everything goin to be okay soon..good things come to those that are true to themselves and others...
Life been through tremendous change also...had to make many decisions...face many things that i never been through before..getting harder n harder..but i glad as i learn to be more and more independent everyday...at the same time i hope i can keep d cheerful side of me when facing all this...altho many unhappy things do happen...sometimes is my fault..irresponsibility...but at least i learn something ..not to avoid and run away anymore...but look at it ..face it...'kau tim' it...
No matter what comes tomorrow...in the future...i believe i can make it...there must be a way out...n i now must find it after a good night sleep....
Friday, August 21, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
2 days
2 days..juz 2 days...things change so much that im not even prepare for that...
i guess wat chuck said was true ba...i changed
question is better? worse? i cant tell myself.. abit confuse of who i am..wat i want recently...
maybe changes is too fast...everyday there is something new experience..some may not be pleasent but tis is life..things can never stay constant at the peak...we may need to suffer a bit so that we truly understand the meaning of happiness....
Been missing penang and my frens alot since im unable to go back when other uni havin mid sem break... many ppl come n go but old frens is d best! whenever im in trouble they will always help me out...givin me advice...altho im very noisy...but they always tolerate me...still listen to me when i feel like tokin nonsense...frens! i miss all of u!!! tokin to yeemin yesterday really make me feel alot better...im missing my family too as im a rather dependant person..now i have to make more and more decision all by myself..sometimes i really make d wrong 1...but all of this is part of d parcel of growing up i guess...tokin to mummy today makes me feel better too! ^^
Somehow being away from home leave a huge impact on me ...undeniable... is like im slowly leaving behind lots of things..at the same time, i always miss days where i am still blur and well dunno anything...always happy for no reason..haha..at least life back then were simple ...now everything is not so easy...nothing is either right or wrong..this world is complicated...sometimes im afraid that i will slowly forget how i used to be ..i think i will juz let it be..whatever will be will be..dun wan worry too much...(so may things to think already..kaka)
No matter how things changed me...there will always a part of me deep inside that will remained..no matter how far i go...im always me...will be back to normal once im home...haha...for sure!
i guess wat chuck said was true ba...i changed
question is better? worse? i cant tell myself.. abit confuse of who i am..wat i want recently...
maybe changes is too fast...everyday there is something new experience..some may not be pleasent but tis is life..things can never stay constant at the peak...we may need to suffer a bit so that we truly understand the meaning of happiness....
Been missing penang and my frens alot since im unable to go back when other uni havin mid sem break... many ppl come n go but old frens is d best! whenever im in trouble they will always help me out...givin me advice...altho im very noisy...but they always tolerate me...still listen to me when i feel like tokin nonsense...frens! i miss all of u!!! tokin to yeemin yesterday really make me feel alot better...im missing my family too as im a rather dependant person..now i have to make more and more decision all by myself..sometimes i really make d wrong 1...but all of this is part of d parcel of growing up i guess...tokin to mummy today makes me feel better too! ^^
Somehow being away from home leave a huge impact on me ...undeniable... is like im slowly leaving behind lots of things..at the same time, i always miss days where i am still blur and well dunno anything...always happy for no reason..haha..at least life back then were simple ...now everything is not so easy...nothing is either right or wrong..this world is complicated...sometimes im afraid that i will slowly forget how i used to be ..i think i will juz let it be..whatever will be will be..dun wan worry too much...(so may things to think already..kaka)
No matter how things changed me...there will always a part of me deep inside that will remained..no matter how far i go...im always me...will be back to normal once im home...haha...for sure!
Friday, August 14, 2009
finally...
Finally i visit my blog again...first thing after log in..delete all old post..yay! i dun wanna c my old post d..delete delete...throw away the old stuff...kakaka..nway..dunno y got d feel to blog again...maybe good mood kua today...haha...another finally..i can have one day for myself without studying..worrying...n jungle trips..yes yes...a normal friday for me...finally...
Well...very busy these days..been wanna revive my long forgoten blog for a long long time ..but where to find time le...finally today can sit down and reflect how i been doing the last few weeks...hurz..finally!!
There is no ',' or '.' for me since school reopen...all lecturers start to teach seriously during the first class..unlike last 2 sem where i still get to day dream first few weeks...well i still do sometimes...hehe..The thing is i have no idea what lectures is about- blank...till now...how come ler...i oso dunno...my prob?? or rather lectures prob??? haiz... Some lecturers are extremely nice...too good...like d lectures..but too bad..my weak subject-maths..statistic...talking bout that ar...im so so dissapointed with my first test recently...why why i still dunno how to do even i put extra extra hardwork in it...the feeling of not doing well after putting much effort is not nice at all...
Back to things before test 1...after a few hectic week..dunno wat im doing oso...went kelantan for management trip...yep...very excited at first coz never been there before mer...BUT half way ...we received news that UPM is closed due to some H1N1 cases...thats how i lost my mid sem hols lo..no more pg 4 me lo...but i did went back for 2 days to attend my cousin wedding...a very happy occasion...
So we continue our trip to Kelantan...the place to sleep is ok la...better than the last few trips 1...n of course Kem Hutan...ok la..happy a bit..But...the toilet according to my coursemates that went to have a look-horrible...so i decided to not look...minus a bit happiness...so left onli 1 toilet for so many ppl...the next day we went to practical n all...look at how logs is produced..how to cut them n all...the great part is...we went in n out the Jalan Balak behind Pajero...not great actually...but fun ba..luckily got some experience with chia li's ford...but when we go back tat day..rain heavily...BUT guess wat le...raining but NO WATER!!! where to bath ler?? at somewhere dunno wat is tat n a wooden house at no where...cant believe that la...use mineral water to brush teeth and go toilet...feel so depressed that time..next day still no water..BUT get to go waterfall bath wor...i never bath like this before..i scared like mad tat time...after lots of consideration..go in la..but waaa...so fun..mayjinn help me to the part that feel like sauna...nature is wonderful...night bbq n that conclude my kelantan trip...the ppl there is extremely nice n simple...they really help n tend to us..i learn a lot from them n can feel their sincerity..my lecturer brings out a few question on wat is rich n happiness to us...to them being happy is simple coz they are content with what they have...being happy is rich..what bout us?
After this trip, i went to another forest for another practical..really unhappy with tat..exam is the week after n they still ask us to go for practical in d forest..worst..a practical that can finish in one day..thehy ask us to camp there for 3 days?? what a waste of time...n in the end...worst test 1 in my whole uni live...zzzZZ..madness...nway was raining heavily second day...n water went in our tent..n we sleep on d ground with our stuff n all...i feel like refugee that day!!! with water everywhere...depression!!! Then the last day..the bus forget to fetch us!! we waited n waited n waited under d rain..until d rain stop n leg aching n still wating..finally bus came..so tired n late d..HOW to study for exam tomoro...depressed again..still hav to study ma..no need sleep lu..
The day after that is my another exam and statistic exam!!! my fear...im already so tired tired...no need sleep again lo..still...worst test 1 ever..haiz..still got 2 subject next week tho..
So after so many wind wind rain rain-translate to cantonese...FINALLY...today i can sleep...no need think of anything...free for the first time...so happily i went to eat Mcdonald with xwen la..my coursemate..then we go buy flowers for mjinn birthday (her bf ask us to buy) n matric card string thingy that i promise her before.. but after driving halfway...my car feel weird weird 1...the i look at the heat thingy...so hot..my car is HOT HOT...i so scared!!! then i faster park at roadside to cool down the car but being a no skill driver i dunno how to open d front thing..so i call many many ppl to ask for help lo...then me n xwen stand at the roadside there holding the roses waiting for d car to cool down so can put in water lu... a few ppl come to hav a look ..ask a few things n give comments..then! suddenly a man appear from no where! smell like alcohol...me n wen is so scared! he insist of fixing my car wor!! im so scared he will make my car explode..but turn out that he actually help me to fix the car...so thankfull to the apek...thank you apek!! I see hope in this world where there is still good ppl around...serdang ppl is kind of good! Guity for not believing him at first..well never judge a book by its cover..but i cant help it!
Then i drive happily to college...find mjinn they all..have dinner togather at serumpun food court...haha..our foodcourt upgrade till so nice lo...been a while since we hav dinner at cafe (what v call last time b4 upgrade)...feel like first year again when we used to eat togather there b4 i move out...happy!...then kyen tell me tat mini pc fair at K13 last day today...bought a bluetooth adapter..happy...all in all today is FINALLY a enjoyable day for me a day to recharge n refill water for my car...before another marathon...........
Well...very busy these days..been wanna revive my long forgoten blog for a long long time ..but where to find time le...finally today can sit down and reflect how i been doing the last few weeks...hurz..finally!!
There is no ',' or '.' for me since school reopen...all lecturers start to teach seriously during the first class..unlike last 2 sem where i still get to day dream first few weeks...well i still do sometimes...hehe..The thing is i have no idea what lectures is about- blank...till now...how come ler...i oso dunno...my prob?? or rather lectures prob??? haiz... Some lecturers are extremely nice...too good...like d lectures..but too bad..my weak subject-maths..statistic...talking bout that ar...im so so dissapointed with my first test recently...why why i still dunno how to do even i put extra extra hardwork in it...the feeling of not doing well after putting much effort is not nice at all...
Back to things before test 1...after a few hectic week..dunno wat im doing oso...went kelantan for management trip...yep...very excited at first coz never been there before mer...BUT half way ...we received news that UPM is closed due to some H1N1 cases...thats how i lost my mid sem hols lo..no more pg 4 me lo...but i did went back for 2 days to attend my cousin wedding...a very happy occasion...
So we continue our trip to Kelantan...the place to sleep is ok la...better than the last few trips 1...n of course Kem Hutan...ok la..happy a bit..But...the toilet according to my coursemates that went to have a look-horrible...so i decided to not look...minus a bit happiness...so left onli 1 toilet for so many ppl...the next day we went to practical n all...look at how logs is produced..how to cut them n all...the great part is...we went in n out the Jalan Balak behind Pajero...not great actually...but fun ba..luckily got some experience with chia li's ford...but when we go back tat day..rain heavily...BUT guess wat le...raining but NO WATER!!! where to bath ler?? at somewhere dunno wat is tat n a wooden house at no where...cant believe that la...use mineral water to brush teeth and go toilet...feel so depressed that time..next day still no water..BUT get to go waterfall bath wor...i never bath like this before..i scared like mad tat time...after lots of consideration..go in la..but waaa...so fun..mayjinn help me to the part that feel like sauna...nature is wonderful...night bbq n that conclude my kelantan trip...the ppl there is extremely nice n simple...they really help n tend to us..i learn a lot from them n can feel their sincerity..my lecturer brings out a few question on wat is rich n happiness to us...to them being happy is simple coz they are content with what they have...being happy is rich..what bout us?
After this trip, i went to another forest for another practical..really unhappy with tat..exam is the week after n they still ask us to go for practical in d forest..worst..a practical that can finish in one day..thehy ask us to camp there for 3 days?? what a waste of time...n in the end...worst test 1 in my whole uni live...zzzZZ..madness...nway was raining heavily second day...n water went in our tent..n we sleep on d ground with our stuff n all...i feel like refugee that day!!! with water everywhere...depression!!! Then the last day..the bus forget to fetch us!! we waited n waited n waited under d rain..until d rain stop n leg aching n still wating..finally bus came..so tired n late d..HOW to study for exam tomoro...depressed again..still hav to study ma..no need sleep lu..
The day after that is my another exam and statistic exam!!! my fear...im already so tired tired...no need sleep again lo..still...worst test 1 ever..haiz..still got 2 subject next week tho..
So after so many wind wind rain rain-translate to cantonese...FINALLY...today i can sleep...no need think of anything...free for the first time...so happily i went to eat Mcdonald with xwen la..my coursemate..then we go buy flowers for mjinn birthday (her bf ask us to buy) n matric card string thingy that i promise her before.. but after driving halfway...my car feel weird weird 1...the i look at the heat thingy...so hot..my car is HOT HOT...i so scared!!! then i faster park at roadside to cool down the car but being a no skill driver i dunno how to open d front thing..so i call many many ppl to ask for help lo...then me n xwen stand at the roadside there holding the roses waiting for d car to cool down so can put in water lu... a few ppl come to hav a look ..ask a few things n give comments..then! suddenly a man appear from no where! smell like alcohol...me n wen is so scared! he insist of fixing my car wor!! im so scared he will make my car explode..but turn out that he actually help me to fix the car...so thankfull to the apek...thank you apek!! I see hope in this world where there is still good ppl around...serdang ppl is kind of good! Guity for not believing him at first..well never judge a book by its cover..but i cant help it!
Then i drive happily to college...find mjinn they all..have dinner togather at serumpun food court...haha..our foodcourt upgrade till so nice lo...been a while since we hav dinner at cafe (what v call last time b4 upgrade)...feel like first year again when we used to eat togather there b4 i move out...happy!...then kyen tell me tat mini pc fair at K13 last day today...bought a bluetooth adapter..happy...all in all today is FINALLY a enjoyable day for me a day to recharge n refill water for my car...before another marathon...........
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