illusions...

everything goes back to the beginning
like things never happened before
its like a dream and we will wake up one day
searching and searching for clues and meanings
thinking and thinking day after day
but there seems no answers but more and more questions
drifting and keep on drifting
for years and years
hoping and waiting for something or someone
to hold on to
but is just myself again
thinking ive found the answers
but everything comes back to the start
the beginning
everything is just an illusion
when will this illusion ends
when will i find myself again
see clearly live peacefully
in this road...this journey
full of illusions....

sick days

i guess my unhealthy lifestyle of staying up late and no proper diet is really cathing up with me as i suddenly fall sick last sunday...this time everything juz hit me at a same time...flu..cough...sorethroat...fever...usually is divided into stages...well...the feeling was horrible...!!
well...i guess is true that family is really important...who else are willing to look after you when u need them most...parents...even the sometimes irritating siblings...we will do the same for them too as this is wat family is about..caring and supporting each other...accepting each other weekness...
i learn to appreaciate them more and more...not taking ppl that care for us for granted...l did that in the past and hope that i will not do that again...

yay...

juz learn add some songs...thanks paulie n my sister...
really like the first song a lot...nice...^^

A new day

yay! today woke up feeling energized...decided to delete most of the unhappy post...delete delete all unhappy events...but keep some as memories...wahahha...to look back sumtimes how depressed n silly i've been...
lazy to elaborate on detailed happenings but somehow i found the long lost mintze..welcome back!!!
nway...i will always remember lessons that i learn from happy moments as well as unhappy ones...im grateful for both as i know life is teaching me to be a better peson...
First thing for the new beginning...work harder and smarter too in whatever im doing...as long as give 120% ...no matter whats the result...at least i have no regrets...
To my frens....im so sorry to those that have to put up with my moody days....hahaha...esp to those i keep complaining to...and also a huge thank you..to those that always stood by me...giving me advices...God really loves me... thats y i have all of u as frens...^^
To my family...i know im not a good family member...hope to change for the better in the future...
Lastly...to my late grandmother...im sorry ...im sorry im late...u will always be in my heart forever...may u be happy wherever u r...
Well...time to work...study study hard.....
p/s ..i will always cherish the blanket...^^

no title...

-first day of school
-after raya hols
-rainy day
-grey sky
-resembling my mood
-craving for ice cream
-sleepy mint
-goodnite

lost and alone

This sem had been extremely tough for me ...i noe this is not an easy sem but i did not expect this to be so tough...has been a battle for me every single day..

In academic..seems that i cant hit the right key from the start..nor can i find the fighting spirit i had last time..i wonder what happened...juz had my worse test 1 ever..hopefully i can save things with test 2..tho so busy doing things..spend my previous time for some unappreciative ppl...or maybe i become more lazy to do revision..i really dunno the reasons..but for sure I am the biggest problem myself...most subject involve calculation this sem...n calculation is my weakness..i noe like it or not..i MUST overcome it..i have no choice....i must find my true self..my motivation..my mission ..vision..n dream back...the mint that is always positive..n hopeful...

There are all sorts of people in this world....i should not bother with some of them dun care about others feeling..only think bout themselves..thinking they are the best doing things that really hurts a lot a lot..sometimes...
I wonder why someone that shud guide u ..help u...can become so mean ...is okay if u dun like a person..i understand v cant make every1 like us but dun influence others as well...never hurt others feeling if they did not do anything to u....is so tiring to cope with this useless things when you got so much to do already..so tired lookin at them everyday..so tirin trying to satisfy them ...those that dun noe how to respect ppl deserve no others respect...those that listen blindly what others sed rather than see things themselves is no better...sad to see such ppl...
Hopefully everything goin to be okay soon..good things come to those that are true to themselves and others...

Life been through tremendous change also...had to make many decisions...face many things that i never been through before..getting harder n harder..but i glad as i learn to be more and more independent everyday...at the same time i hope i can keep d cheerful side of me when facing all this...altho many unhappy things do happen...sometimes is my fault..irresponsibility...but at least i learn something ..not to avoid and run away anymore...but look at it ..face it...'kau tim' it...

No matter what comes tomorrow...in the future...i believe i can make it...there must be a way out...n i now must find it after a good night sleep....

Today suppose to be a happy day...
but at the end of the day...
sudden sadness...
feel ...
i dun belong to anywhere...
no significant presence...
touch no life....
no 1 to share..
not important...
such a meaningless me....
what happen to life...